Saturday, April 28, 2012

Deja Vu Part 4

Alright, so resisting the incredible temptation to yank on knobs this time, we're able to safely exit the car and head off to our next thrilling locale, the nonspecific 'papers' store. I know what kind of papers I'm hoping for! LET'S INVESTIGATE.

From the looks of it, so is the newsboy.


Hey buddy, how bout you recognize MY FIST.


I pummel his face 'till I finally have to stop on account of my hand is full of splinters.


IN CASE YOU HAD SOMEHOW NOT FIGURED IT OUT BY NOW, THIS GAME IS SET IN THE '40s. NOIR NOIR NOOOOOOIR DRAMA GRITTY GRITTY HEY.
Let's see if this town has any more crime drama cliches for me to visit.


Pete had to compose his sign using letters from the sign for the nudie bar it used to be.


I would love for you to put on a shirt.


Examining the guy reveals the obvious. I voice my concern for both his cholesterol and dislocated elbow.


Fuck, wasn't expecting the 12 gauge he apparently keeps in his penis.


That's the result for pretty much anything other than talking to the dude.
 I buy the useless Gun 3, and head back to the alley.


I...I think I love you.


NNNNNOPE.



Aw come on, am I not emasculated enough for one day as it is?


Commence cheesing it.


Let's grab a cab and blow this nerd stand.


Look, I just feel more comfortable in a cab if i take my pants off, OK?


HOW ABOUT THE CORNER OF MY FIST & YR FACE, EH???


Huh. Noted, and I'll be sure to shoot through the front window when I rob you later.
For now, I'll settle for making a run for it without paying.


Damn child safety locks!! FINE.


Luckily he doesn't notice they're Chuck E. Cheese tokens.


 
Ooh! Fancy looting opportunities! Let's head into the lobby.


Sideways!


Haha I got a little something to stick in you right here, baby, it's a little thing I like to call -


-a keycard. What?



Uh...isn't that just how elevators work? I can't remember the last time I stepped into the elevator and had to set a course for the second floor by doing anything trickier than pushing the button with the '2'.


You'd think he could have spent some of that cash and gotten a less-tiny chair.
Looking around reveals a few points of interest.


 
It could be inside the wall? This isn't the Little House on the Prairie here.

 
Heh, heh...oh wait is that why the top of the couch is all white?
EW, GAME. EW.


Betty Crocker's scandalous after hours "cookbook".


 According to Google maps, this address is in the middle of a bridge, or possibly the nearby Family Dollar.
Which is great, because I can definitely use a set of kittens-riding-unicorns-sculptures, a denim tuxedo, and maybe some irregular fruit.


Until next time, where we shoot some more stuff, steal some prescription meds, and maybe even make some progress on the plot, if there actually is one!

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